As graduation looms only mere months ahead, it feels like it has only been a moment since I was last faced with the exact same feelings of uncertainty and anxiety that many students face in their senior year. Of all the recent terribleness that many of us have encountered over the last few months, one benefit from the pandemic has been the opportunity to reflect on what my undergraduate experience has been and where I am moving forward. Yet, in looking towards the future, I am often reminded of the words of Danish existentialist Soren Kierkegaard.

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
-Soren Kierkegaard

So over the last few days I’ve tried to put myself back into the shoes a rather anti-social high school girl first applying to college. In fact, the story of how I wound up at HMC is quite humerous in and of itself. As a girl from Redmond the path for someone doing well in their high school seemed inevitable.

  • Graduate
  • Attend the University of Washington (Udub)
  • Major in Computer Science
  • Work at Microsoft

As I look at this checklist now, I realize I only made it a quarter of the way. Somehow, on the way to Udub I had gotten lost, traveled 1100 miles, and wound up in sunny Southern California. On paper, Harvey Mudd College lays at the odd intersection of lucrative and unheard-of. Certainly the undergraduate insitution of 800-ish students was no MIT, or Stanford when it came to recognizability, but what it did have was a remarkable connection the Claremont Colleges, a close knit community able to make someone even as closed-off as me flourish, and a demanding program able to challenge even the best. Yet, as a high schooler all I remember looking at intially was the big number 1 next to the school’s name on U.S. News and World Reports.

I wasn’t supposed to get in. Sure, I had good grades and test scores - but I was no Einstein to say the least. Outside of school, my passions weren’t coding, or building like many of my peers. I read fantasy, swam on the swim team, and worked as a life guard for some extra cash. In many ways, in those initial weeks I felt like an imposter, a poser, someone who should just go home and forget why I even came to begin with. But the more I persevered, the more I learned about others and myself. As my good friend put it: “In High School you were a big fish in a small pond, at Mudd you’re a big fish in a small pond filled only with other big fish.”

With all the talk about fish, all I could really focus on is how much I wanted to have some salmon sashimi - but that’s beyond the point. To say I was one hair’s width from giving up after my freshman year would be a lie - I was in fact one hair’s radius from making that decision. Yet, I held on because I knew that as dificult as HMC presented itself - it was only through these challenges that I could fully emerge as a better student, better engineer, and better person. Like in children’s bedtime stories - you can’t get the gold without facing the dragon. The dragon was right there in front of me, why turn back after coming all this way.

My reprieve came by leveraging what HMC, as a STEM Liberal Arts College, could offer better than any other science instutions in the world - a gateway towards the liberal arts. While many young and talented technically-minded students scoff at the notions of art, history, and politics I often find myself reminding them that the liberal arts are liberal because they free the mind, expanded it, and allow us as humans to live and learn as free and independent people. As John Adam’s wrote to his wife:

"Our sons ought to study mathematics and philosophy, geography, natural history and naval architecture, navigation, commerce and agriculture in order to give their children a right to study painting, poetry, music, architecture, statuary, tapestry and porcelain."
-John Adams to his wife Abigail Adams

HMC’s connections to the Claremont Colleges afforded to learn under some of the greatest thinkers and artists in the world. Concentrating in the arts and diving deep into psychology I was able to learn about expression, intellect, and the ways we as single-minded individuals even fathom to share our unique experiences with others to build culture. While so many people in technical fields scoff at the ideas emerging from the humanities, I have consistently found myself as an engineering consultant producing the greatest impact while working in the most freeing corporate cultures. There exists an intrinsic relationship between people and processes, man and his work, that when cultivated and appreciated rapidly produces remarkable results.

Without HMC’s dedication to the humanities and the arts, I am not convinced I would have been as strong of a student, engineer, or person that I am today. As always, the future remains cloudy (and we can only hope with a chance of meatballs), but where ever I go after graduating I want to be thrown in, head first, like at the start of the 200 meter butterfly. HMC helped me grow and I can only hope that where ever I go next, the challenges I will face will make me smarter, stronger, and ever more free.